updates

It’s so close to 2021 and as I’m “planning” for another new year, I have to honestly say I feel, well I guess the best way to describe it would be anticipation?

Definitely an uneasiness for what this year will bring.

I’m sure many of you can relate to this as well.

I was chatting with my husband the other day and we were talking about what we were during at this time last year. We had been in our new home for just over a month, had decided to not travel and enjoy being home (haha), and for New Years we had tickets to see Phantom of the Opera with my in-laws and dinner after at Mastro’s.

A perfect evening.

Well for me it was because I’m not particularly a big New Years person. If we do anything it’s usually something like dinner or hanging out with a few friends or family.

Anyway, it’s just strange to think back to the end of 2019 and have no idea what was right around the corner for all of us.

After that conversion, I really felt my anxiety kick in. Since March I have really tried my best to stay positive during this whole pandemic. Other than missing my family, (because my Mum is extremely high risk I actually haven’t seen her since Christmas last year. I miss my Mum and Dad terribly.) I have tried to really focus on myself, our IVF journey, and the fact that my husband and I are both healthy, happy, have a wonderful home, and are lucky to have jobs.

Since we stopped our last round of IVF, one of the things I’ve been working really hard on is to not be too hard on myself because it has definitely been a rough few years physically and mentally with all our IVF treatments and I desperately need to take a break from it all.

Also, for a while I have been having a lot of anxiety because I was feeling like my life was going really fast and I wasn’t reaching my “goals” of becoming a parent, I wasn’t going further in my career, and I hadn’t started writing another book. I felt like the pressure was on and I wasn’t giving people what they expected of me.

And… I will be 39 this year. Eeeek! So yeah there’s that.

It’s hard to even think about that number because I definitely don’t feel like I’m almost 39. Where has the time gone! Okay, I really need to seriously stop focusing so much on that. I will drive myself crazy.

However, instead of worrying about my life going by way too fast, I’m trying hard to learn to appreciate the present and have an appreciation for where my life has taken me.

Anyway, so sorry for the rambling a bit there…But…

as we head towards 2021 I thought the best way to look at things is to have no expectations for 2021. I’m going to continue to make the best of our current situation in our current World and continue to take care of myself. I’m not very good at new year’s resolutions but I definitely have I guess you could say “goals” that I like to set for myself.

However, with the pandemic, we can only do so much. Hence having no expectations for this coming year.

Although, side note, I have to say, who else is longing to get really dressed up and have a fun cocktail at a fancy bar and enjoy a nice dinner somewhere. I want to hear people! I want to people watch and try to listen to their conversions. Hehe.

Anyone else?

Anyway back to what I was saying. For me to be able to “get ready” or a new year I like to write down up to ten things that I want to continue doing for myself. I feel like whenever I’m really truthful with myself it really does open up doors for what is next to come.

Okay, so here are my ten.

1. Continue with yoga. (This has been a great tool for me over the last ten months. Not only do I love what it does for my whole body but it really helps with stress and anxiety.)
2. Write when I feel the need. (I truly love to write and to share my thoughts with whoever is interested. I don’t really have an interest in being an influencer but maybe more of a journaler.)
3. Read. (As much as I like to write, I don’t read as much as I would like to. Honestly, too much TV gets in the way.)
4. Take care of my skin. (Full disclaimer. My IVF meds have really affected my skin and I’m working really hard to have my skin look more even-toned again.)
5. Take baths and take time for myself.
6. Cook and enjoy it.
7. Host small dinner parties (I love doing this, it’s so intimate.)
8. Do something really nice for my husband’s birthday this year. He deserves it.
9. Don’t stress so much. Everything mostly always works out in the end.
10. No pressure to write a book like I told everyone I would do in 2019 including on this blog. I definitely want to again. Although, I would like to at least start a short story. So we’ll see.

What do you think of my “goals” for the year? Maybe try it for yourself. I find it very therapeutic.

Take care, be safe, and Happy New Year! Talk to you in 2021.